Up until last weekend the bedtime routine for Eirik was to lay with him in our bed and feed him, put him in his cosleeper, and let him fall asleep there. As he is quickly approaching the weight limit for the cosleeper we have been doing night time in his room. This means now after his bath we sit in the rocking chair while he eats and then if he's still awake (which most of the time he isn't!) i'll swaddle him up in his crib. We also have been using the sleep sheep which I think help relaxes him. Typically the second he's asleep or swaddled I rush off to accomplish my tasks for the evening... homework, cleaning, getting things ready for work... you get the picture.
Tonight however after he went to sleep I felt the overwhelming desire to sit and rock him gently as he slept. I found myself staring at his face as he slept... he looked so peaceful and innocent... and I realized just how quickly time is going by. Just a few months ago he was a fraction of this size freshly home from the hospital... and now here he is developing his own little personality and trying to grow up before my eyes. While I am enjoying watching every milestone he hits I also want to tell him to slow down. I sat there gently rocking him imaginging what he'll be like next year... as a toddler. I then realized before I knew it he would be too old for cuddling and rocking.
The thought made me sad... sad to realize just how busy I have been recently and how I haven't had as many oppertunities to just sit and hold him while he slept. I came to the decision tonight that every night I am going to spend a little time just holding and rocking him... enjoying watching him as he sleeps. He is more important then the homework that needs to be completed or the lunch that needs to be made or the laundry that needs to be folded. Those things can wait until tomorrow... but Eirik growing up is happening before my eyes. I never understood that poem called rocking my baby until now...
Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.
by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton
What a beautiful post Emma. I can totally relate to the feelings you shared here. As I was putting away Kaitlin's laundry tonight I had to "retire" her NB clothing and break out the 3 month stuff. It made me so sad to fold the itsy-bitsy little onesies that she won't wear again ... and then I looked at her in her crib and got so sad at how big she is getting ... and then I wrote a whole post about it (but haven't published it yet!)
ReplyDeleteOh, and I totally go into writing with one idea and then end up writing about something else all the time ... you're so not alone there.
I know exactly how you feel. So many things are going undone because M and I can't pull ourselves away from Miss Kylie. Good for you to take some time to rock him ever night.
ReplyDeleteOh how easy it is to be distracted by the day to day tasks that we miss the subtle yet monstrous growth our little ones do each and every day. I've never heard that poem before but it brings tears to my eyes and makes me realize that each day that passes is one that will never roll around again. Each first will only happen once, unlike the loads of laundry that will always be there. Thank you for posting this and reminding me to keep my priorities in line.
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