Cuddles

Its true what they say, no matter what you plan on or decide before you have a baby everything will change when they are actually here. You will tell yourself there is no way I am introducing a pacifier only to change your mind a few short weeks after your baby is there. For me one thing I never wanted to do was bed sharing. It freaked me out too much... the thought of him getting smothered, of me rolling over on to him, or my husband rolling on to him! I didn't want to shove him in his own room right away however so I went out and purchased a cosleeper. My friend had one and raved about it and I had read online all the information and it was such a great idea! He could sleep snuggled in his own bed, but I could easily reach him without getting up. Perfect!

The first 2 weeks we were home however the cosleeper stayed as a free standing bassinet. Thanks to the c-section I had enough problems getting in and out of bed so I didn't need the added fun of maneuvering around the cosleeper. Also the cosleeper was very small and portable so I would move it between the bedroom and the computer room during the day (as they are the only two rooms in the house I was in all day). I will also add here that the first few nights home I hardly slept at all... between breastfeeding and waking up every hour to make sure he was still breathing I was a walking zombie. In fact the first night he was home I slept with all the lights on because when I turned them off I freaked out something was happening to him.

After 3 weeks when I felt well enough we attached the cosleeper to the side of the bed. Now I could simply reach over and get him to breastfeed without getting out of bed. Easy! Wonderful! Except for one minor problem... the startle reflex. Eirik would startle so easily that unless he was perfectly sound asleep he would wake up the second his head hit the cosleeper. I would swaddle him, shush him, try and sooth him back to sleep in his cosleeper but typically I would end up taking him back out and repeating the process of rocking and patting him again. One night, exhausted of playing the back and forth game, I fell asleep with him on my chest.

The next night I didn't even try to move him into his own bed, I just let him sleep on my chest all night. I have to say that while I was sore the next morning we both got more sleep that night then we had in a while. Then instead of having him sleep on my chest I would lay on my side with him cuddled up against me, safe in the crook of my arm. Now I would say he sleeps about 60% of the time in his cosleeper at the rest in bed with us. I will try and put him down in his cosleeper at night to start, but typically after his first feeding I just end up keeping him next to me. He sleeps better and I sleep better. Then in the morning when I get up to eat breakfast I leave him with my husband and the two of them cuddle. There is nothing so adorable as watching your husband and your son sleeping peacefully together.

If you would have asked me 3 months ago if this would be my sleeping arrangement I would have said No. In fact my husband and I got into an argument over it because my husband wanted to sleep with him in bed with us and I was the one who was to nervous. But now I am doing it I don't see what the big deal is. I will add here I did research into how to safely keep him in bed with us, its not just something I did on a whim. I'm not saying bedsharing is for everyone... but for me its working out pretty well.

Last night Eirik and I got into bed and after he nodded off to sleep I found myself not wanting to put him in his cosleeper for that first stretch of sleep. Looking at his peaceful sleeping face I realized just how quickly he was growing up and how limited these sessions of cuddling together would be. Before long my little boy will be wanting to assert his independence and be a big boy and sleep in his big boy bed. Instead of putting him in the cosleeper I pulled him close to me. I'm going to enjoy every moment of cuddling together.