More Mommy Guilt

Even though at my job the holidays are not specifically a busy time of year it always ends up that something occurs to make the month of December busy. Every year it seems that this time of year requires long hours and late nights and this year is no exception. We are a very small company therefore when something comes up everyone is needed so its hard to pull the baby excuse... especially when I know other people have infants and young children too.

For example, yesterday was our company christmas party as well as company wide update meeting. Typically I leave work at 4pm so I can get home for my husband to teach. This is not normally an issue however yesterday I was needed at work later. As we had no babysitter our solution was that Eirik actually came to work with me for about an hour and a half between the company meeting and the Christmas party so that my husband didn't have to cancel his lesson. While it was great for me to see Eirik for that hour and a half (otherwise I really wouldn't have seen him at all yesterday) it was another reminder of just how stressful being a working mom is.

Next week i will be staying late at work for 3 days... late enough that by the time i get home some of those nights Eirik may already be in bed as we start his bed routine about 6 or 6:30. Its so sad for me when I come home late and find him already asleep. An entire day without giggles and smiles and laughter and playing. It really makes me realize where my priorities in life are and dedicates me to getting myself in a situation where I don't have to sacrifice entire days at work and hardly see my son. While right now I know things can not change my hope is that next year they can.

Because honestly, who wants to be away from this face any more then they have to?