Last night I attended a Christmas party that was thrown by a friend of mine from college. There were a few of us from college there and the rest of the guests at the party where her new boyfriends friends. Needless to say most of the night was spent with the small group of college friends catching up and laughing about college days. The one girl that I talked to quite a bit I didn't know that well in college. We had probably met once or twice in passing at my friends house, but it wasn't really until after graduation at a previous party that I started talking to her more.
I try not to be nosey about children when talking to people, especially since you never now their history. However as we were talking she made a comment about saving up her vacation at work for when they have a baby. At this point the topic of kids was fair game. She had asked about Eirik and said how cute he was so casually I asked her if she and her husband were thinking of having a baby soon.
Before long it all came out... they had been trying but she has endo and was told my her doctor that they had almost no chance of getting pregnant on their own and she had been doing clomid and it wasn't working so now she was seeing a fertility specialist but the insurance didn't kick in. I sat there and nodded at her in complete understanding and slowly over the course of the night we ended up talking more about infertility then anything else. I got the distinct feeling that everyone else in her life had it easy when it came to having babies and she had no one to really talk to about her struggles that understood. She talked about how she wasn't going to anymore baby showers because it was too painful and about how everywhere she went she saw pregnant women.
As we talked I told her about our struggles, my issues, and my miscarriage. It was the first time I've really sat down with someone I didn't know well and talked about this. Most people whom I have talked with about infertility I knew well... they are people who know my story and my history. But here was someone who I really didn't know all that well. I tried to give her hope... I told her stories of women I knew who had gotten pregnant using various fertility treatments.
I got a message on facebook this morning from her saying to keep in touch.
I think last night we went from acquantances who knew each other through a mutual friend to actual friends.
It sounds like a friendship that could be very mutually beneficial! Human nature is so interesting in that way - it seems like many friendships start with a bonding session over some sort of shared hardship/experience. It's always nice to feel completely understood by someone and to know that you are not alone in what you've experienced in life. You never know who you'll find that in, and you can never have too many friends like that!
ReplyDelete^___^ <3 Go you! Best wishes to her as well!
ReplyDeleteGood for you for being a support for her! I've had a couple of these friendships blossom over the past couple years too...and they are very rewarding =)
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