I'm going to get on my soapbox for a moment here. I apologize in advance and if you don't want to read it i'm not offended!
This morning I read an article in my local paper about how Baltimore is starting a really big push for babys sleeping safely. They are trying to reduce SIDS and infant death. They are starting a big campaign about how babies should be put to sleep on their backs in their own beds. Now, I have NO issues with trying to inform people about baby safety and reducing SIDS. No, my problems lies with the second statement... in their own beds. I was even more shocked to see that the city had gotten mothers whose children had died in bed to speak out for the event to say how dangerous cosleeping was. To say I was disappointed is an understatement.
My big gripe is how cosleeping always gets used interchangeably with bedsharing. They are NOT the same. Cosleeping is having your baby sleep in the same room as you. Eirik cosleeps with us every night in his arms reach cosleeper. What they are trying to discourage people from doing is bedsharing which is when the baby is physically in bed with you.
I'll start by saying yes, bedsharing can be dangerous. But so can carseats, hi chairs, bumbos, jumparoos, and every other piece of baby equipment! Bedsharing is only dangerous if you don't do it safely just like anything else. There have been numerous studies done to show that bedsharing can be perfectly safe. You just have to be smart. You don't put a blanket over yourself and the baby, you don't have pillows near by, you make sure there is no where for the baby to roll off the bed, you inform your partner the baby is in bed, and you don't bedshare when you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol. I can say when Eirik is in bed with me he sleeps in the crook of my arm away from the pillows. If its chilly and I do need a blanket it goes no higher then my waist, far away from his face.
To generalize and say cosleeping and bedsharing is dangerous disappoints me. I know that it's not for everyone, but for me its wonderful. I love coming home from work at night and snuggling up with Eirik. I sleep more securely knowing that if I want to check on him all I have to do is roll over and reach my hand out and there he is. I never wake up in the middle of the night because he is crying because I can hear him squirming in bed and naturally wake up to get him before he gets frustrated and upset. I wish they would instead of generalizing and saying how dangerous it is they would actually encourage people to do things safely! You can put your baby to sleep in their own bed next to your own... its called a cosleeper. They sleep safely and securely and so do you.
Dr. Sears has a lot of GREAT information on cosleeping and bedsharing here if anyone wants more information: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp
I just want to add that the loss of any child is a tragedy and I am in no way saying the the parents whose children died were incompetent or did anything wrong.
I'll get off my soapbox now.
Oh Emma, you and your soap boxes. I have mixed feelings but I'm not there yet either so I don't know what I will think. I do know that Finnley will be sleeping in his pac n play, which will be at the bottom of the bed. I learned about cosleepers yesterday from my sister and I have mixed feelings. But I think it is personal choice, just like breastfeeding. And if someone chooses to do it, OR not, then it is their decision. But it is good that you put yourself on the soapbox, at the very least to get people thinking about it :-)
ReplyDeleteIt seems like there is so much fear around a lot of child rearing techniques these days. Not only fear but judgement of how others do it. I think as long as your educated about your choices and do it in the safest ways than you're good =)
ReplyDeleteI am surprised that people still think co-sleeping is dangerous. Here in Germany it is considered the safest thing for your child to sleep in the same room with the parents for the first 6 months.
ReplyDeleteTeddy hated the co-sleeper (never slept in it once LOL) but slept in our bed with us until 4 months when his kicking and movement became out of control and now he sleeps like a little angel in his own room in his own bed- but honestly I was so hyper-aware of him when he slept with us, he was never remotely close to being smothered or injured on anything like that.
Well, obviously none of my babies were cosleepers or bedsharers, so I guess you know my opinion of it, LOL. Plus, I had a friend that bed shared and had a REALLY hard time breaking her kids of it, until they FINALLY got out of their bed at age 2 and 4, which scared the bejezzus out of me.
ReplyDeleteHowever, it does scare me none the less. I don't think I could ever do it. Emma, you are very educated on it, and a really good mother. I just think that people start doing it because they are lazy and nurse while they are sleeping and so they don't have to get out of bed. TAnd let's face it, there are some less educated moms out there that don't know the do's and don't of bedsharing. They do it without being educated and bad things sometimes happen.
However,bad things sometimes happen with anything we do! We all are different parents and all make different choices based on what we think is best.
I totally agree with you. I co-slept with my babies and it was the perfect arrangement for me. Studies have also proven that babies don't die of sids when they are on their mothers chests napping! I think it's great if you're comfortable with them in another room sleeping, however I wasn't. I had c-sections and so it was far more practical for me to have them next to me to breast feed. This business of laziness is ridiculous. Would you want to get up every two hours with a fresh 6 inch incision and walk across the hall to get your crying baby? I think not. I try not to judge anyone about their parenting techniques so I would never call anyone lazy just because they chose to co-sleep or bottle feed. It's whatever works for you!
ReplyDeleteJust going back in time here... I don't cosleep simply because I tried and I 100% can't sleep with my son in my bed - heck, I can't sleep with my HUSBAND in my bed.
ReplyDeleteBut I think it's great, and I 100% agree with you and with Doris. And I can't stand when people are AGAINST cosleeping. If you chose not to do it for personal reasons, that's fine. But I hate when people think everyone has to do what they do, that only their way is the right way - be that cosleeping or not cosleeping.