Nothing exciting pregnancy related to report! It seems like time is disappearing quickly and before I know it March will be here! I can hardly believe that it's thanksgiving already... Christmas is now less than a month away! The baby has managed to hit my bladder and cervix on a regular basis, almost always when I am driving in the car and unable to move in an attempt to get him to move! He also likes to be really quiet all day and freak me out. It seems like just when I sit and start going "when was the last time I felt him move?" he decides to start doing gymnastics in my uterus. I know i'm still at that stage where I shouldn't be too concerned about how often I feel movement as long as I am feeling movement... but it still freaks me out sometimes.
Since it is Thanksgiving I am going to spend a moment and be sentimental. Its my blog, so I can do what I like. ;) This year I am thankful for being pregnant. As much as sometimes there are aches, pains, and general uncomfortableness I would not trade this experience for anything in the world. As much as sometimes I want to cry and whine I realize how lucky I am to be pregnant. I know so many amazing women who are still struggling to be here, so many women who are so deserving. Compared to some of them my journey to becoming pregnant was a walk in the park. I didn't have to worry about needles, drugs, collecting sperm donations, rushing to daily ultrasound appointments, and dealing with fertility drugs. I was on that path, but became pregnant just before. I am NOT going to sit here and say "oh, see, it happened to me it will happen to you!" I consider myself lucky and the exception to the rule. Natural pregnancy can happen after long periods of trying... but I am never ever going to tell anyone suffering infertility that whole "it happened to me" speech. That speech hurts because its not true. Some women, no matter how hard they try, will never become pregnant. It breaks my heart because they are so deserving... they try so hard yet a 16 year old who doesn't even want to have a baby will get pregnant by accident.. Sorry, I am getting off on a tangent here... but, I am so lucky to be pregnant right now and I know that. I sit here daily and read blogs and posts from my friends who are still dealing with drugs, needles, timing, and all the other wonderful things that come with infertility. I root them on, even if its only in my head, wishing that I could wave a magic wand and give them what I know they want most of all. There is one thing I will never do, and that is complain about how horrible it is to be pregnant. I'm not saying its fun and feels wonderful, because honestly sometimes i feel like shit, but I will never sit here and say how horrible everything is and how I wish it was over already and complain on a daily basis about how horrible I feel about being pregnant. I don't know if this will ever happen again... who knows what my body will do in 2 years time when we start thinking about trying again. Will I get lucky again? Will my insurance cover fertility treatments? I'm going to savor every moment of this pregnancy, good and bad, and remind myself daily how amazing this journey to motherhood really is.
No comments:
Post a Comment