Caturday!

I couldn't forget about the Caturday post before leaving!



I just took it the other day... who needs to buy expensive cat beds? Just order stuff online and leave the box laying around. =)

And We're Off...

So, still no labor... not a single contraction! I really really hoped to wake up in the middle of the night last night to find something going on, but no such luck. So, in about 20 minutes i'll be leaving for the hospital.

Yesterday was spent cleaning, packing, and generally distracting my mind from the thoughts of "oh my god, i'm having a baby tomorrow". My husband and I went out for our last dinner as the two of us... because even when we will get a chance to go out alone there will always be Eirik to think of from now on. We decided to go to a thai restaurant near where we used to live... we used to eat there at least once a week! Well, much to our disappointment they have changed the recipes since we were last their. My pad thai was not anywhere near as good as it used to be and even he had to admit his duck didn't taste quite as good... and they have put all their prices up! The cost for the quality of food we got was ridiculous! So, we're going to have to find a new Thai place to eat... anyone in the Baltimore area have suggestions? After a disappointing dinner we went and got some coffee and dessert at Borders and sat and relaxed. We didn't linger too long however because A) it was really busy and B) we still had to do a little grocery shopping on the way home. It was however a nice relaxing evening, even though the food was a disappointment.

Surprisingly I slept last night for most of the night... I think I was just too exhausted. At the moment I am actually pretty calm... but I know once I get to the hospital my anxiety will take over again. I have anxiety issues to begin with and pregnancy just makes it worse. I had another dream last night I gave birth to a cat... thats the third one in 3 weeks! I know I may claim to be a crazy cat person... but seriously!!

So, off we go! My next blog will be as a mommy, not a pregnant lady. =)

Last Day of Work

Today was one of those days that just disappeared. I had a chiropractor appointment this morning, then an ultrasound, and finally work. My last day of work until June. Everyone was shocked to see me in today... I think they all thought I was done after I didn't come in yesterday. Of course I had to answer a million questions, but I felt mentally more prepared. Leaving felt odd though... I know i'm not gone forever but 11 weeks is a long time.

I'm becoming more and more nervous as Sunday gets closer. I wasn't nervous before because well... labor could start at any time! Now I have a date. I'm not nervous about labor and delivery... i'm having the big final "what was I thinking?!" freak out; The "oh my god, i'm really going to have a baby" freak out. I'm sure i'm going to be a ball of nerves on Sunday morning... another reason I am really hoping to go into labor on my own. I'd rather it happen so I don't have time to sit there and be anxious about it happening. 

I can't believe that the end is so close! It feels like the past 9 months have flown by... I can vividly remember getting my positive test and here I am, about to meet my son! Everyone tells me that things go by even faster once they are born. 

I am off to bed now... or at least attempting to sleep. If i'm having problems sleeping tonight I have no clue how I am going to sleep tomorrow night... 

The best laid plans...

Well, still here, still pregnant. I took the day off of work today because I was tired, sore, achy, and generally not feeling up to going in. I knew I would be leaving at noon anyway for my doctors appointment so I only really missed a half day. I spent the morning hoping for labor to come, but no such luck. Instead it was off to my 1pm appointment.

The midwife knew today was my cutoff and she also knew that I did not want a hospital birth. I hoped and hoped that things would look great... that they would say "any second now". But nope... no such luck. Same place as Monday. I knew the conversation that was coming next. Induction, hospital birth. They did give me the option of possibly coming in and letting them break my water to see if things happen... but I don't feel like going down that road... I feel like that is playing with fire. If i was more dilated and his head was lower maybe... but the way things look now I could just see it ending up with me in a hospital on the drugs i'm trying to avoid. I did let them strip my membranes... but its 7:15pm now and the chances of me going into active labor before midnight are pretty slim. It could still happen... but at this point I have a feeling that its not going to.

So, I have accepted that I will be in the hospital. I don't want it, but i've accepted it. The only reason i'm okay is because I know my midwife will be there with me... and they know I don't want to be there either. My induction is set for Sunday morning, 7:30. I'm praying and hoping that I naturally go into labor before that... i'm not mentally ready to deal with induction and pitocin and all the fun things that entails. I'd much rather go into labor on my own. The hospital is enough for me to swallow, but then having to be induced which I have been hoping and praying to avoid? It just makes me want to cry.

I know some of you may think I sound crazy... and as I said yesterday the most important thing to me is that Eirik comes out safely... but i've had my heart set on not giving birth in a hospital and doing things naturally... and the realization that this may not happen really hurts. I'm trying to focus on positives at this point because I want to have a positive birth experience, even if it's not the one I planned on. My midwife will be there with me, and they are the one calling the shots. I already expressed my concerns with them about a few things (c-sections, birth positions, etc) and they have made me feel comfortable that nothing will be forced upon me and they will not force me into things that most traditional OBs would. I trust my midwives... they know this isn't what I want and they are going to do everything to make this experience as close to what I did want.

So, one way or another, Eirik will be here by Monday. Tomorrow morning I am going to the chiropractor for another adjustment. Oh! I have to add here that he is now in perfect position for labor... so if anyone else has a sunny side up baby I really recommend finding a good chiropractor who has been specially trained to work on pregnant women. The chiropractor I am seeing is amazing... i came to her at the 11th hour and she is doing everything she can for me.

I guess its a good thing I did the hospital tour after all...

The Race To Deliver

I feel like I am in a race at this point... my cutoff is midnight tomorrow... after that I can't give birth at the birthing center like I want to. Its starting to depress me and I'm really starting to worry that this is never going to happen. However, I do have some promising signs... sporadic contractions this evening, lots of pressure, and lots of mucousy discharge (i'm aware the last may be a TMI for some of you! Sorry!). I went back to the chiropractor again this evening to get another adjustment and she said I looked better then yesterday. I'm really really hoping that this is all pointing to me going into labor tonight... hell, i'll even settle for tomorrow morning or afternoon. As long as i'm in labor before midnight tomorrow i'm okay.

Speaking of the chiropractor, I wish I had gone earlier! I slept better last night then I have in WEEKS. Also the carpel tunnel issue is SO much better!! I hardly had any numb issues at work today, and only mild tingling when I was having a shower. My hips hurt less too. Its just... great! I also had more energy today. Now, that could be because I am getting geared up for labor... being optimistic? Yep!

Now i'm going to get on my soapbox here a moment... a fair warning. The one question I keep getting from everyone is "why are they not inducing me yet?!" Well, because everything looks fine! He's got plenty of fluid, hes moving, hes happy, my placenta is fine, therefore there is no reason to induce me. If something looked bad or he was in distress I can assure you my midwife would be sending me to the hospital... but things look great. The next comment I get is about how big he's going to be. I was 8 1/2lbs, my brother was 9. My husband is not a tiny person! I never imagined I would have a 6 or 7lb baby. I always anticipated at least 8lbs. Am I worried he's going to "be to big"? Nope! My midwife isn't concerned and I am not concerned. They do this for a living... they deliver babies ALL the time. If they were really worried for some reason they would mention it. I do realize I am strange... that my views on this are not the mainstream. In fact if I was seeing a different doctor I can assure you by now I probably would have been induced or kicked out of the practice. I don't want to induce my labor just because i've gone past my estimated due date. If you read the pregnancy books they all say going up to 42 weeks is NORMAL. I guess i'm just tired of being made to feel like i'm crazy or that i'm potentially putting my child in danger. Not by anyone who reads this blog (or at least anyone who comments!) but by coworkers and other people. If there is one thing I can assure you, I will do anything to make sure that Eirik comes out okay. After 18 months of trying and 9 months of being pregnant there is nothing I wouldn't do to ensure that he comes out safely. If there was any indication something was wrong or something looked bad then I would do something! But I am not having any medical issues and Eirik is not in distress! He's quite happy in there. I just wish people would leave me alone and stop asking me when the induction date is or why haven't I been induced yet!

Okay, off my soapbox now. I'm going to eat a ton of pineapple in hopes that these contractions turn into something!

41 week photo

So I'm almost 42 weeks now... but better late then never right? So here I am, 41 weeks...

A Visit to the Chiropractor!

This morning I honestly almost didn't make it in to work... not because of labor but because my hips ached and I was nauseous... but after some breakfast and a lot of vegging in front of the computer I felt better so I dragged myself in. Of course I had to brace myself for the thousands of questions/comments concerning my pregnancy which I fielded as always, with a smile. I think my resolve is cracking because my group supervisor said "Emma, you're going to snap soon". I then also had to put up with the shocked responses when I told people my midwife isn't going to induce me till April 1st provided Eirik is still happy. Yes people, if I wait till April 1st that will put me at 42 weeks 6 days. Honestly I don't think i'll get till then... but I am not going to go to the doctor begging for an induction if everything is looking good and no one is worried!

So, this evening I had an appointment with a chiropractor recommended by my midwife. I have to say I REALLY wish I had gone sooner! She did a few adjustments to help get Eirik in a better position and also did one adjustment to help with the carpel tunnel i've been having. Oh, yes, another fun pregnancy thing that popped up a few weeks ago... carpel tunnel. My left hand goes numb and tingly from the swelling of being pregnant. So the hand already feels a TON better and I know Eirik was shifting all over the place after I was done there. If he's in a better position or not is yet to be seen... but I go back tomorrow for another adjustment.

No real contractions to report, but I have been having mild cramping on and off all day. I'm really hoping that means things are going on and maybe i'll go into labor soon... I'm really starting to get nervous. Thursday is just around the corner. I've still got time... thats what I keep telling myself.

In non baby related news I've registered for summer classes for my masters! I am actually VERY excited about my two classes this semester: Stem Cell Biology and Genes and Diseases. Both classes sound really interesting from the course description. Its going to be really interesting juggling school, work, AND baby. Thankfully i'll get to slowly ease back into things as my classes start early June and i don't think i'll be back at work now till almost July. Then I have 2 classes in the fall and I'll be done! When I graduated college I swore I was done with school and would never go back and here I am now so close to getting a Masters! However I do have to say I think I am done with school. Maybe in the future i'd take classes here and there, but another intense program? Nope!

So, fingers crossed I go into labor either tonight or tomorrow night!

So Much For A Relaxing Day...

Before I go into the hell that was supposed to be my relaxing day off i'll give you the quick rundown from my appointments today: Lots of fluid, baby moving, 4cm dilated, 75% effaced. So, progress has been made! Knowing that i've dilated 2cm since last Wednesday actually makes me pretty optimistic... i'm hoping that its a sign something is going to happen soon. I have until midnight Thursday to go into labor otherwise I'll have to give birth at the hospital. Induction wise it'll have to be next week if I still haven't given birth, otherwise they have to hand me over to a doctor which I do NOT want. So, my cutoff for the latest i can go is April 1st.

So, my plan for the day was this. My husband and I would leave early for my midwife appointment, go shopping, go to the appointment, then go out and get some lunch afterwards. The appointment is about 30 minutes from our house and there is a huge mall and shopping center near it and honestly we haven't really gotten to spend time together between me working, appointments, and him working. So, that was the plan. But, nothing EVER goes to plan.

We left the house and got to the store to do a little grocery shopping. We get back in the car ready to head to my midwife appointment and... nothing happens.  Yep, thats right, all I hear is a horrible grinding noise. I try again thinking maybe its a fluke. Nope, car's not going ANYWHERE. So now we're 30 minutes from home with my appointment 15 minutes away and a car that's not budging. First I call the midwife who are super nice and tell me to call back when things get sorted out. Next its AAA who will come out, attempt to jump the car, and then if thats not it toe it. Next I wreck my brains for someone to call to pick US up. I do have a friend who works in Annapolis but I know her job isn't exactly the kind where she can just step out for an hour. So, I call my brother who thankfully wasn't busy this morning. So he came down to pick us up. At this point I realize if we're going to have to get the car toed home its going to cost a bit and I don't have cash, so I scour the parking lot we're in for a bank. I find one and make my way over to it to get some cash. I get said cash and walk back to the car as it starts to pour with rain. By the time I get back to the car I look like a half drowned rat. Lovely.

The toe truck guy shows up, jumps the car, and says that our terminals have to be replaced ASAP. I guess its lucky we were sitting in a parking lot right next to a mall with an auto center. So I leave the car with my husband to take over to the auto center and have my brother take me to my midwife appointment. After the appointment the car still wasn't done and I was starving because we were going to get lunch so I walked up the road a little way to a grocery store to get something to eat and wait. Thankfully it wasn't much longer that I had to wait. We then had to rush home so that he could leave again to make it to his lessons tonight!

So much for my nice relaxing day with my husband!!

Caturday!

Weekly cat picture!! Sebastian attempting to squeeze himself into a box... stubborn cat!



Brief update on me... nothing to report! I am taking the day off of work tomorrow for doctors appointments... I have an ultrasound and a midwife appointment in the morning to make sure Eirik is still nice and happy in there. So, i'll have a bigger update tomorrow... though I have a feeling it'll be "everything looks good, come back Thursday".

Why The 41 Week Pregnant Lady Shouldn't Cook

So my nesting is still going crazy... last night was no exception. I had food in the fridge that my husband had pulled out to cook, but then for some reason it never got cooked, so it needed to be cooked! first up a beef roast which I tossed in the crockpot. Nice and easy, no worries there. Then I moved on to the chicken breast. Usually I enjoy cooking, but I really wanted my leftover pasta so instead of cooking the chicken for dinner I figured I would boil it up and then it could be used in a sandwich or something later. I very rarely boil meat, but I knew i could toss it in, let it boil while I cleaned, and then shove it in the fridge. Gotta love multi-tasking! So I tossed it in and began doing dishes, cleaning the kitchen, all those chores I usually HATE. By the time that was done the chicken was also cooked so I quickly tossed it in a container and into the fridge. Then my crazy nesting brain said "Wait, I must clean up this one dirty pot!" Bad nesting brain...

In the process of removing said pot filled with just boiled water I managed to splash the water right over my stomach. Of course by the time I realized what I had done and grabbed a clean cold wet paper towel it was too late... i had a nice chunk of skin missing from my stomach and a very pretty looking 2nd degree burn. Of course the first thing I did was rush upstairs to google "spilling boiling water on pregnant stomach" to which I discovered this is quite common. My mind knew that Eirik was well protected in there, but of course I had to get some reassurance. I then looked into the best treatment of said burn and got many conflicting answers. At this point it was almost 9pm so I began the hunt for a bandage only to find I had nothing big enough to cover the burn up. So, out my husband went for large guaze bandages. I decided to just put some cream over the burn, cover it with guaze, and check it out this morning.

Since it still looked rather nasty this morning I decided to play it safe and go to the doctors. I went to one of the quick walk in clinics because they opened at 8 and I could just stop in on my way to work. The doctor was nice and assured me that it wasn't serious and gave me a topical burn cream to use and told me to keep it covered with guaze like I already was.

Of course at this point I am more angry with myself then anything else. I've been so careful and now, at the VERY end, I do something dumb like this... something that I could have avoided if I had just let the water cool for a whole 5 minutes before removing it from the stove. But no, I had to clean that pot RIGHT then. No more messing with boiling liquids for me... i'm leaving that to someone else!

I've tried to come up with an appropriate post all day... I must have sat here and written this out at least a dozen times. I thought I would have had a lot to say, however I come up completely blank. I can't even come up with a good title. It seems like nothing I can say truly expresses what I really want to say... if that makes any sense what so ever.

The word miscarriage or infertility seems to cause people to calm up, get awkward, and try and change the subject. Its something that most women suffer through quietly and alone. They don't open up to their friends and relatives about what's been going on because ultimately those people will give you the same horrible advice over and over.

"Relax, it'll happen!"
"You should try X, Y, and Z!"
"I have a friend who started the adoption process and then got pregnant after years of trying!"
"Maybe it just wasn't meant to be"

Thats just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to advice and comments. No wonder women don't open up and share more. To hear after having a miscarriage "at least it was only a miscarriage" (yes, i was told this by a NURSE) is the most crushing thing ever. It makes you wonder if all that pain you feel inside is real... if you should be feeling that way at all. You begin to question whether you should even be grieving the way you are.

I learned there is no right or wrong answer to how to react after a miscarriage because it is the loss of a life. Even though in scientific terms that life may never have truly began, the second you get a positive test result your entire mentality changes. Even if you only get to cherish that life for a day, for that day you were pregnant and you were a mother. You started thinking about names, imagining the color eyes and who that baby will look more like. And then, when that is suddenly taken away from you, its the loss of that life you had planned out, you grieve. And, like death of any sort, everyone grieves differently. Some people want mementos while others wish to forget. Some wish to talk while others want to hide away. There is no right or wrong way to cope and there is no set amount of time it will take you to move on.

Today I am so close to meeting my son, and as I sit here feeling him move around inside of me I am reminded how much of a miracle pregnancy is. The entire process, the meeting of that perfect egg and perfect sperm, the perfection that is required for that zygote to grow and thrive, the thousands of things that must occur during the 9 month timespan so that life can continue. Most people don't realize that 25% of all pregnancies end is miscarriage... in fact, that number is probably higher. The reason is because many of those miscarriages occur so early that a woman never knows it has occurred. I feel so lucky to be pregnant.

41 weeks!

Yes, thats right folks, 41 weeks today!

I had an ultrasound, non stress test, and regular appointment to make sure he is still happy and healthy. Well, according to all the tests hes happy and healthy and not showing any signs of making his appearance! The ultrasound showed I still have tons of fluid left, which is good to know. During the non stress test he got angry and tried to kick off the sensors... so no worries there. The midwife did an internal exam and i'm still 2cm and 50% effaced... same as last week. They offered to strip my membranes (for those who don't know its when they separate the bag of fluid from the side of the uterus near the cervix to "help things along". Theoretically it releases a hormone that may stimulate labor) if i wanted, but i declined. Its painful and if hes not ready to come out its not going to do anything!

So my cutoff date for giving birth at the birthing center is the 25th. After that i'm post-term and considered higher risk so I have to give birth at the hospital. =( Thankfully they aren't talking induction yet. I really really want to avoid being induced! So, fingers crossed he comes before the 25th!

Every day I must get a million comments about still being there. Everyone is so impressed I am working and by my positive attitude. I tell them to talk to my husband, he'd tell you otherwise. ;) I think I keep the positive attitude around everyone else because I don't want to seem like a complainer. You never know who you are talking to and what their history is.

Sleep is becoming more and more interesting. I've had a few nights of pretty good sleep and then nights like last night where no matter what I do I cannot get comfortable. I must have woken up every hour last night to shift positions. I am nesting again! The after work exhaustion is gone and is replaced by the urge to clean/do things. Last night i cleaned the kitchen which included scrubbing the stove AND the sink! I'm hoping the nesting is a good sign!

On a final, and amusing note, the ultrasound tech tried to get a weight measurement today. Now ultrasounds are NOT really reliable for weight and they couldn't even get all the measurements they needed to do a good guess. Their guess? 11lbs! My midwife told me to please ignore that, they HIGHLY doubted I had a baby anywhere near that big in there. Sometimes i'm so glad i'm seeing my midwife. =)

March 18th

Thursday is March 18th, the only day this month I do not want Eirik to come. March 18th will be exactly one year since my miscarriage and I am petrified that him coming on March 18th is a bad sign. I know I am being silly... but dates in my life always seem to match up. The reason I am nervous is because I have 2 other 18 birthdays and for some reason i've had this gut feeling for a while now that he would come on the 18th. Why i've felt that way I have no idea... but the 18th has always stuck out in my head.

I know i'm being silly... but it would just be so odd for be to celebrate the birth of my son on the same day i'll be mourning the loss of the baby I never had. Can we say conflicting emotions? I want to be happy and overjoyed... but at the same time I don't want to forget about my little bean. I just sit and stare at the calendar and see how close the 18th is and it brings back all sorts of memories.

I told my husband this and he said maybe its something good coming out of something bad. I am trying to focus on that mindset as opposed to my more negative one. Still, i'll feel better once March 18th has passed.

Late Caturday!

I realized that i've gotten behind in my caturday posts! So, since easter is coming up i give you... cat in an easter basket!

I'm Turning Into A Monster!

So a little fact about myself: When I don't feel good i get REALLY whiny and annoying... and right now its a good thing my contact with people is at a minimum because I am like a bomb waiting to go off. I can feel how annoying and whiny I want to be and its taking all my self control not to turn into a complete monster. Instead today I had a major meltdown and sat on the couch sobbing after my husband and I got into an argument over our basement being flooded. Can we say crazy hormonal pregnant lady?

So, I am trying to look at all the wonderful positives about still being pregnant to get myself out of this very negative mindset.

1. The weather will be nicer for his birthday, thus the potential of outdoor parties!
2. More time with my husband, just the two of us. '
3. More time to use that "because i'm pregnant" excuse! (not that I use it much)
4. I've accumulated more vacation time to use, therefore having to use less of my own savings for my time off.
5. I'll be on maternity leave when the weather is really nice outside!
6. I can enjoy easter candy guilt free (no trying to loose weight for me just yet!)

40 week photo!

Hopefully this is my last photo update!



I am TOTALLY ready for Eirik to come. I cleaned up my desk at work, left my coworkers instructions on a few projects i'm still working on, left instructions with my friend at work on what to grab if for some reason I get laid off while on maternity leave (honestly with my company you never know...), have snacks for the birthing center, have things pretty much ready to go to the birthing center... all i need now is to go into labor!

Probably a TMI, but i've been loosing more chunks of mucous plug yesterday and today and i've had a few short bursts of cramping/contractions! I also had a talk with Eirik last night and told him he needed to come out this weekend. We'll see if he actually listens. ;)

40 weeks!

Today I am officially 40 weeks! I had my midwife appointment today. All went well! They did an internal and i'm 2cm dilated and about 50% effaced, so something is finally going on! I had a mild freak out moment when they were trying to find his heartrate. Hes ALWAYS stubborn about it, but I think the midwife was trying to get him to move and have an accelerated heartrate just to check him out... and they couldn't get him to move so they said "you get movement regularly right?" and i said yes so i guess they were happy with what they heard. I'm of course still nervous now... but he does move regularly. This morning he was all over the place! She "stretched things out a bit" to try and get the ball rolling. I've been having mild contractions for the past few hours... so you never know. Of course i'm sure they'll go away soon... they always do! So if this guy doesn't appear by next Wednesday I have to get an ultrasound and a non stress test. I'm REALLY hoping he comes before next Wednesday!

I'm still working, though I am really ready to be done. Every day people are shocked to see me still there! I must have gotten at least 8 people today going "You're still here?!" or something along those lines. It makes me want to hide in a hole! No wonder i spend most of the day hiding at my desk where no one can see me!

I'll update with a photo either tomorrow or Friday!

UPDATE: Lost a large chunk of my mucous plug this morning and had MAJOR nesting going on last night! Trying not to get too excited as it could mean nothing... but its hard not to!

Easter Hat!

I finished up Eirik's easter hat! When all was said and done i'm pretty happy with it. Now I just hope it fits on his head!!

Goodbye Winter, Hello Spring!

So I know technically the first day of spring is not for a little while longer... however the weather outside today is so beautiful! Its in the mid 50s, sunny, and perfect! I have all the windows in the house open and am enjoying the fresh air. There is nothing like that first beautiful day where you can really air out your house after winter! My spring bulbs are starting to come up, almost all the snow is gone, and the days are slowly getting longer! I have to admit spring is one of my favorite seasons. I love the fresh smell and the flowers and the colors... and my birthday is in spring. =)

I think today I am nesting again. All last week I was just exhausted and tired, but today I have energy! Of course I also have an upset stomach which makes things a little difficult. I've read that sometimes you get an upset stomach before labor so i've got everything crossed! At first I thought maybe it was something I ate, but now I am not so sure. I guess i'll find out sooner rather then later!

Sleep wise its just getting worse and worse. I've discovered that when I wake up having to roll over because something aches I'm also having braxton hicks contractions. I have NO idea if this is connected or if its just a fluke. Its not painful or anything, its just my hips ache and I have to go to the bathroom. This weekend i got up before 7 every day even though I got up about every 2 hours to pee. I just can't seem to get a good nights sleep anymore. All in preparation for afterwards I guess!

Well, back to my obsessive cleaning. I'm almost done the easter hat for Eirik but it didn't turn out as nice as I liked. The ears ended up being two different sizes... i can't tell if its something I did or if its the pattern. Oh well... i'm hoping when I finish the final touches it'll even things out a bit. I'll post a photo when I get it all done!

You're The Most Pregnant Woman I've Ever Seen!

I'll start this post with the photo I took today... 39 weeks.



Today was a rough day. Honestly I've been trying SO hard to stay positive and optimistic but the closer my due date gets the harder it becomes. Every day I feel a little bit more exhausted, a little bit more swollen, and a little bit more blah. I didn't sleep well last night because I had a few contractions that woke me up so far starters it was already a rough morning. I really had to muster all my energy to go in to work and once there I went from exhausted to wanting to cry. I also got a ton of "you're still here?" and "How are you feeling" comments today as well as a few "WOW". Still, trying to stay positive and think of all the good things about still being pregnant. Then after work I went to Borders. While standing in line a women came up to me and goes "You have got to be the most pregnant woman I have ever seen". I just about burst into tears!! The women kept going on saying things like "has anyone given you an award yet? I'm giving you an award." I just stood there like a deer in the headlights. I eventually mumbled that I was due on Wednesday and she goes "I bet you go tomorrow!" Of course I couldn't leave the store because the cashier was off doing something so all I could do was stand there hoping this women left me alone. Thankfully she did. Of course afterwards I thought of a million things i could have said, but I was just to stunned!

So, 39 weeks... nothing is going on. I went to my midwife appointment and they didn't do an internal check so I have no idea if i've made any progress there. I've been having some contractions/cramping but nothing to get excited over. They usually last about 20 minutes and then go away. Eirik is still sunny side up of course... but the midwife said i had lots of fluid so he has plenty of room to move around so I still have hope that he'll end up in a better position! My uterus measured at 42cm so either I've got a big baby or lots of fluid in there! I'm hoping its lots of fluid! I also came to the conclusion that no matter how healthy or unhealthy i eat i gain the same amount of weight each week.... so i've given up caring about what exactly I am eating. Of course today my stomach has been a little queasy... maybe its a labor sign?? I can wish!!

Physically I am sore and exhausted. As i said above every day seems to be a little bit worse. Not that this is my far horrible... i'm just uncomfortable. I have no desire to be induced but I can understand why a women reaches this point and begs her doctor for an induction. I've really tried not to complain much about pregnancy related things... and up until this point i've honestly had nothing to complain about! But right now I just need to take a moment to complain. So, if you want to skip over this part I understand. I can't roll over at night without physically sitting up and then when I do sit up I have to pee, I keep having contractions in the middle of the night that wake me up, I can't walk around for more then 10 minutes without having to sit down because i become light headed, my feet, ankles and knees are swollen by the end of the day, my fingers are swollen making simple things more difficult, i can't get in and out of my car I sort of fall in and push myself back out again, i have almost no clothes that still fit me, i'm exhausted all the time, i keep getting hot flashes which are causing me to feel lightheaded, i can't do ANYTHING i used to be able to do without feeling nauseated and light headed, and lastly I feel like I want to cry all the time.

Lastly I just watched the office episode from last night where Jim and Pam have their baby and seeing it made me not only want to cry but made me even more excited to finally meet my baby! I have to admit the scene at the end where Pam is alone and the baby is crying and she looks lost and confused... thats going to be me! I just sat there thinking "thats going to be me... i'm going to be that person!" Of course I think my favorite part of the episode was when they show that Jim had diapered a cat. I could only imagine trying to diaper my cat!

Cats vs Cosleeper - an update!

As I hoped, my cats have decided the cosleeper is dull and have avoided it! I am so relieved! I was worried that I was going to have tons of issues keeping them off it but instead they have decided its just not that interesting!

I have my 39 week appointment tomorrow. I have a feeling nothing is going on and have mentally accepted that i'll go past my due date. It seems like everyone around me is mixed in their thoughts on when i'll go. My coworkers seem to think it'll happen any day while others have said "oh, you look like you could go for weeks".

My parents have booked their flights and should be arriving on April 16th! I'm excited as I haven't seen them since last June when I went to visit them in England. They are staying for 3 weeks too! Something to look forward to. =)