Thursday, December 17, 2009

Holiday Party, Irrational Fears, and Pediatricians!

So last night was my company Christmas party. It was a cocktail hour at a nice restaurant, so instantly I wasn't too excited to be going. Whats the fun in going to a cocktail hour when you can't drink? But I scrounged through my closet, found something nice to wear, and went. For starters what I wore made me look HUGE. It doesn't help that everyone else I work with is tiny and here I am, the walking blob! A coworker to some photos and in each pictures its glaringly obvious I am very pregnant! I am thrilled to be pregnant, but I have always had weight issues and gaining weight is difficult for me. I was very overweight in high school and most of college and I was always so proud of how much weight I lost so gaining weight now is bringing back bad memories. But, I digress, I get to the party and take a quick scan of the food offerings. I had anticipated only hors d'oeuvre's so I ate dinner before I came, a wise move! The only things in sight were: smoked salmon, a seared tuna thing, and baked brie. Wonderful! 3 things I can't eat! I did have a good time however and ultimately some food did appear that I could enjoy: crab balls and egg rolls. I didn't stay too late as I was tired and there is really no fun in being the only sober person in the room!

Today after work I finally called the pediatrician to schedule an interview and was shocked to find that I couldn't get an appointment until Jan 27th! My midwife is going to kill me! I'm supposed to have a pediatrician consent form turned in by 34 weeks and Jan 27th is 34 weeks on the nose! I'm just going to have to explain to them thats the earliest appointment I could get. I had no clue it could take that long to get an appointment! So, to all my pregnant friends, call sooner rather then later!

I had the most bazaar dream last night. My pregnancy dreams are odd, but last nights just takes the cake. I left my husband because apparently he was doing hard drugs and cheating on me big time, but I didn't go home I moved in with a friend of mine, and I had the baby early but my baby was a kitten (well, at first it was a kitten then suddenly it was a girl with purple and blue hair...) and we had to sneak back into the place my husband was staying to get all the baby things because I didn't have anything. VERY odd.

Also, I am having irrational fears. IVillage is wonderful with message boards, however sometimes I think too much information and reading is a bad thing. In the past 2 weeks 2 women with due dates close to mine (one jan, one feb) have lost their baby's suddenly. They went to the hospital for decreased movement and then found no heartbeat. I've already been nervous about this because an old coworker of mine had that happen to her sister, but reading about two people in such a close span just makes my mind work overtime. I am really trying to relax and be less stressed about things, but now if I don't feel movement for a while I start to over analyze things. I sometimes think the internet can be more stress then its worth. You can google things and discover so many stories online that make you shudder. I know that the chances of something going wrong now are about 1%... i have a higher chance of getting in a serious car accident driving on 95 into work tomorrow... but it still freaks me out. As much as I am trying to enjoy every aspect of being pregnant and I wouldn't wish for things to go by any faster, sometimes I wish this little guy was here.

Now I am off to write Christmas cards. yes, i am a little behind this year... oh well! They'll get out by the weekend. =)

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