My name is Emma, i'm 26, and i'm currently 18 weeks pregnant with my first child. Then why is this called daily musings of a crazy cat lady you ask? Well, because I am a crazy cat lady... at least I would be if i didn't have a husband. Currently I only have 4, and no matter how much I complain about how 4 cats is too many I could find myself easily taking in another if need be. I've always had cats, always loved cats, and know I will always have cats. My cats are spoiled rotten and are like my children... which of course will change in March when I have a child of my own. At work I am know as the cat person... mainly because everyone else has dogs. It also doesn't help that my cubicle has a photograph of me and my husband and then close up photographs of my cats in cute adorable poses.
So, enough about me and my cats. More about this whole pregnancy thing. Well, I wasn't one of those people who got pregnant by accident, or even pregnant easily. In fact it was a long heartbreaking road filled with many tears and frustrations. Like a good healthy married couple my husband and I talked about when we wanted to start trying... and stupidly thought it would only take a few months. WRONG. A year went by before we broke down and saw a fertility specialist who told me that I may have an ovarian reserve problem and that my husband may have borderline sperm issues. Before we could start our treatment plan however I found out, yay, I was pregnant! It was a good feeling, yet scary at the same time. I had lots of spotting, bleeding, and funky bloodwork numbers. It didn't take long before I found myself being told miscarriage was inevitable. Crushed my husband and I took a break, planned a vacation, and did a lot of crying (me, not him with the crying). We went back to that fertility clinic ready to start again with treatment only to discover... yes, pregnant again. This time however we had a nice happy healthy bean.
It was the happiest few weeks of my life... until the morning sickness kicked in. I tried to be happy, i tried to think of the positive, i tried reminding myself how badly I wanted to be pregnant and all the tears I had shed because i wasn't. But when i wasn't eating or sleeping due to nausea and pain it was hard to think these positive thoughts. Even after my doctor gave me a prescription for my nausea it was still a rough few months. I probably didn't start a blog in the first trimester because I didn't want to remember all those negative thoughts I had. I knew so many people who would give anything to be pregnant, I had been one of them, and here I was crying about how horrible it was. No... that was not what I wanted to write about.
But now, at 18 weeks, I can start to really focus on the positive and wonderful aspects of being pregnant! That bump that you can feel, a little bigger each day. Those wonderful visits to the doctors when you get to hear the heart beating away inside of you. That feeling sometimes when you are out at the store and see something and think "i'm going to buy that for MY baby". Yes, those are the things I want to focus on. I'm going to try and update this daily... i'm really bad about doing things like that however. So, for now lets just say I'll try and update regularly. Until tomorrow (or the next time I remember to post).
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