Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Mommy Guilt

Yesterday I had my first real experience of mommy guilt. I was in DIRE need of a haircut. I totally destroyed my hair at the hospital... not brushing it for 4 days after being in labor and having a c-section can do that to it. I needed a haircut to begin with as well and its been horribly hot. So, last night my parents were here and I asked if they would watch him for a quick hour while I just ran down the road to get a quick cut. Nothing fancy, just quick. I had fed him and as soon as he drifted off to sleep I ran out the door. I left my parents with a sterile bottle and a little pumped milk, just in case. I got home 45 minutes later to a hysterical baby who apparently woke up about 10 minutes after I left the house. My parents tried everything to calm him and were just about to feed him when I walked in the door. I felt horrible! How could I leave him?! I almost cried as I sat there feeding him. I know he was fine, and he did have food so he would have calmed down, but the immense sense of guilt was overwhelming! I have to leave him tomorrow for 3 - 4 hours... its going to be so hard!!

2 comments:

  1. Oh sweetie. I don't know what mommy guilt is like yet but I was reading an article last night that was saying how these little trips here and there are SO important for mommy and how you need to force yourself to do them. Even at the expense of leaving a crying baby with others.
    Again, I am no BTDT mom but I just wanted to give yo a ((hug)) -
    xxoo

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  2. It must be so hard to leave him! In the long run it's best for you and for him though...

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