I have to say, I was surprised by how many of you responded to my previous post with similar stories! It makes me sad that so many others have been tormented by bullies but also made me realize how many other people may have been bullied that I never knew about!
I just wanted to make a few little clarifications:
I did have a few close real life friends... but sadly we didn't go to school together in high school and in middle school we all got picked on together.
I don't exactly forgive all of the people who bullied me... some of them were worse than others. There are some who did things which I will never forgive no matter what.
Someone made a comment about parents... and that is an excellent point. I agree that parents do need to be actively involved in whatever the punishment is. I bet a lot of parents don't even realize what their kids are doing or just push it off as "kids being kids".
Later tonight we will be back to our regularly scheduled Eirik updates. =)
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
A Step Away From Babies...
Since this is my blog and I can talk about whatever I want I am going to take a step away from my normal routine of Eirik updates today. No thoughts on being a new mom or adorable pictures. Today I want to focus on a serious topic and one that is very near and dear to my heart.
The media recently has picked up quite a few stories about bullying... and most of these stories sadly end in tragedy. Young lives lost because of taunts and tormenting by fellow classmates and peers. These teens are now being put behind bars and charged with crimes that at best will leave them with a criminal record and at worst will send them to jail for an amount of time. The line seems to be drawn in the sand... many say "good! Those people need to be taught a lesson" while others go "They are kids! They were headed to ivy league colleges!". There is no middle ground in this debate, like many others. Of course the media is calling this an epidemic (The media LOVES this word) and that this new cyber bullying is making things worse for kids today.
I would like for a moment to tell you the story of a girl... a shy, quite girl who was socially awkward. She preferred to sit and read her book rather then talk. She wasn't thin and pretty like the other girls... she didn't wear the most popular clothing instead opting for jeans and tee shirts to hide her figure. No matter what she did it seemed nothing could help the zits that kept appearing on her face. Makeup? what was makeup? She never worse makeup. No... she was plain and ordinary and quiet. She grew up and lived in the same area and went to elementary, middle, and high school with the same group of kids. It started in elementary school when kids reached that age where clicks begin to form and someone becomes the cool group and another becomes the dorks and losers. Middle and High school weren't much better. New friends were impossible to make and her days were spent trying to keep out of the way. She tried to hide away. In high school she sat by herself at lunch every day, reading her book, counting down the minutes until she could head home again.
It wasn't just girls mean comments and looks... it was boys. Boys who chased her home with rocks and taunted her with names... boys who physically punched her by her locker at times just to see if she would cry. She never did... she never let them see her cry. But cry she did... she cried and cried and cried. Girls were never mean directly to her, they had other methods of making her feel bad about herself. What made matters worse was the schools were aware of issues with certain girls... and they did nothing. They had documented instances of rocks being thrown, words being said, hair being pulled... from elementary to middle school this was documented and nothing was done. The papers were filed away never to be seen again. And these people who tormented her so were not all "punks" who were cool. No... it was the popular kids who took honors classes and had aspirations of a bright future.
The only thing that kept this girl going were friends who were all over the country. Yes, the internet became her one place that she could be herself and could become friends with people who wouldn't judge her because she didn't wear the right clothes or say the right things. These friends talked to her late into the night. She never let them know about how hard it was for her in school for when she talked to these people she could leave those worries behind her and pretend they didn't exist. Most of them probably never realized just how important they were to her. On some days they were the only thing that kept her going.
Yes... that was me.
As an adult some of those people from my high school days have actually tried to befriend me on facebook. If I've run in to people in the stores they have been friendly and very mature to me. To say they were just being teenagers sounds cliche... but its true. These people have matured into adults who now hopefully look back on the way they tormented people in high school and feel embarrassed. I can't get inside their heads and say this is how they feel... but I would hope that they would. I would never wish that these people would have criminal records today because of what they did to me. Did it hurt like hell? Yes... and it still does. The wounds of 12 years of being bullied and tormented and picked on does not disappear. But they were young and foolish then... and don't we all act stupid when we are young?
There have always been bullies and there always will be. Making a tough stand against them doesn't do anything if no one is aware of what is happening... and I can tell you now I told no one about the events that went on. I did not run to the principal after being punched by my locker or cry to my parents when I was chased home with rocks. No... I suffered in silence because I was to embarrassed of what may happen and to afraid of how much worse those bullies would become. I don't think that bullies today are any worse then they were when I was a teenager in middle and high school... they just have new methods for unleashing their torment. Yes, it does bring up new issues... but I don't feel that bullying is anymore an epidemic today then it was when I was in school. I think the difference is that today it is more visible thanks to facebook, twitter, and youtube. All of this technology makes it harder for bullies to hide... now when they torment someone the world can see.
As for what an appropriate punishment should be for bullies I am at a loss. But charging them with criminal charges is not it. After all, they are still kids.
The media recently has picked up quite a few stories about bullying... and most of these stories sadly end in tragedy. Young lives lost because of taunts and tormenting by fellow classmates and peers. These teens are now being put behind bars and charged with crimes that at best will leave them with a criminal record and at worst will send them to jail for an amount of time. The line seems to be drawn in the sand... many say "good! Those people need to be taught a lesson" while others go "They are kids! They were headed to ivy league colleges!". There is no middle ground in this debate, like many others. Of course the media is calling this an epidemic (The media LOVES this word) and that this new cyber bullying is making things worse for kids today.
I would like for a moment to tell you the story of a girl... a shy, quite girl who was socially awkward. She preferred to sit and read her book rather then talk. She wasn't thin and pretty like the other girls... she didn't wear the most popular clothing instead opting for jeans and tee shirts to hide her figure. No matter what she did it seemed nothing could help the zits that kept appearing on her face. Makeup? what was makeup? She never worse makeup. No... she was plain and ordinary and quiet. She grew up and lived in the same area and went to elementary, middle, and high school with the same group of kids. It started in elementary school when kids reached that age where clicks begin to form and someone becomes the cool group and another becomes the dorks and losers. Middle and High school weren't much better. New friends were impossible to make and her days were spent trying to keep out of the way. She tried to hide away. In high school she sat by herself at lunch every day, reading her book, counting down the minutes until she could head home again.
It wasn't just girls mean comments and looks... it was boys. Boys who chased her home with rocks and taunted her with names... boys who physically punched her by her locker at times just to see if she would cry. She never did... she never let them see her cry. But cry she did... she cried and cried and cried. Girls were never mean directly to her, they had other methods of making her feel bad about herself. What made matters worse was the schools were aware of issues with certain girls... and they did nothing. They had documented instances of rocks being thrown, words being said, hair being pulled... from elementary to middle school this was documented and nothing was done. The papers were filed away never to be seen again. And these people who tormented her so were not all "punks" who were cool. No... it was the popular kids who took honors classes and had aspirations of a bright future.
The only thing that kept this girl going were friends who were all over the country. Yes, the internet became her one place that she could be herself and could become friends with people who wouldn't judge her because she didn't wear the right clothes or say the right things. These friends talked to her late into the night. She never let them know about how hard it was for her in school for when she talked to these people she could leave those worries behind her and pretend they didn't exist. Most of them probably never realized just how important they were to her. On some days they were the only thing that kept her going.
Yes... that was me.
As an adult some of those people from my high school days have actually tried to befriend me on facebook. If I've run in to people in the stores they have been friendly and very mature to me. To say they were just being teenagers sounds cliche... but its true. These people have matured into adults who now hopefully look back on the way they tormented people in high school and feel embarrassed. I can't get inside their heads and say this is how they feel... but I would hope that they would. I would never wish that these people would have criminal records today because of what they did to me. Did it hurt like hell? Yes... and it still does. The wounds of 12 years of being bullied and tormented and picked on does not disappear. But they were young and foolish then... and don't we all act stupid when we are young?
There have always been bullies and there always will be. Making a tough stand against them doesn't do anything if no one is aware of what is happening... and I can tell you now I told no one about the events that went on. I did not run to the principal after being punched by my locker or cry to my parents when I was chased home with rocks. No... I suffered in silence because I was to embarrassed of what may happen and to afraid of how much worse those bullies would become. I don't think that bullies today are any worse then they were when I was a teenager in middle and high school... they just have new methods for unleashing their torment. Yes, it does bring up new issues... but I don't feel that bullying is anymore an epidemic today then it was when I was in school. I think the difference is that today it is more visible thanks to facebook, twitter, and youtube. All of this technology makes it harder for bullies to hide... now when they torment someone the world can see.
As for what an appropriate punishment should be for bullies I am at a loss. But charging them with criminal charges is not it. After all, they are still kids.
Of all the things I miss...
I miss sleep the most. If I could pick one thing about my pre-mommy days that I honestly miss it would be sleep! I love Eirik and I wouldn't change a thing about our life... but after a really rough night I sit and remember how wonderful it was to sleep for 8 hours straight... Needless to say last night was a rough one... we were up every hour and a half or so alllllll night long thanks to teething and then for some reason at 4:30 Eirik decided it was playtime. Its a coffee morning! Ahhh the joys of motherhood!
Monday, October 4, 2010
Scars
Today I awoke to that tingling pain that I still get every few weeks. I looked down at the still bright red scar on my lower stomach and felt myself inwardly cringe. Would I forever get these periods of pain? When will the numbness completely go away? When will I be able to stop questioning what I did wrong even though I know I did nothing wrong? These thoughts and more quickly rolled through my mind as I got myself ready for work. I couldn't help but smile as walked in and out of the bedroom, looking at my husband and child fast asleep in bed together. I quietly snapped a few photographs, hoping neither of them would wake up. As soon as I put the camera down Eirik awoke with his usual happy morning smile which instantly melted my heart and made me push the thoughts from just moments before to the back of my mind. But as I kissed Eirik and my husband goodbye and sat in my car the thoughts pushed themselves to the front of my mind again. The one thing I thought over and over was "when will I be normal again?"
Physically I am my normal self... I have the same energy level as I did before. I can move and bend and do everything I could before and aside from the occasional burning twinges it is easy to forget. But then I look down and see that bright red scar and it comes back and the guilt comes back with it. Even though I know I did nothing wrong I still question myself... and the worst part of all is that nagging fear of doing it again. I want to be pregnant again and have more children... the thought of being pregnant and having another baby is one that excites me. The thought of going into labor again and the physical act of birth scares the living daylights out of me.
I tell myself that I have Eirik and that is what matters... he is healthy and happy. Eirik is a truly wonderful baby. He is mellow and relaxed and happy... he smiles all the time and even when he cries its not that full out scream that other babies do. I honestly couldn't ask for a happier child. I tell myself that next time will be different... that I know more now then I did before... that every pregnancy and birth is different. But telling myself these things doesn't seem to help alleviate the mental duress that I experience when I think about everything that happened.
I've discovered, that like infertility, this negative birth experience brings about comments that are supposed to help but simply hurt. I get told "but you have a healthy baby, that's what matters!" or "next time you can try for a natural birth again". While these comments are meant to be helpful all they do is make me feel more frustrated and then I begin to question my own feelings. Is it wrong for me to feel angry and upset over how my birth went? Shouldn't I just be happy that I have a healthy child?
Every day my scar gets a little lighter and I know that soon it will fade and become almost invisible but the emotional scars still linger. Sometimes its the scars we can't see that take the longest to heal.
Physically I am my normal self... I have the same energy level as I did before. I can move and bend and do everything I could before and aside from the occasional burning twinges it is easy to forget. But then I look down and see that bright red scar and it comes back and the guilt comes back with it. Even though I know I did nothing wrong I still question myself... and the worst part of all is that nagging fear of doing it again. I want to be pregnant again and have more children... the thought of being pregnant and having another baby is one that excites me. The thought of going into labor again and the physical act of birth scares the living daylights out of me.
I tell myself that I have Eirik and that is what matters... he is healthy and happy. Eirik is a truly wonderful baby. He is mellow and relaxed and happy... he smiles all the time and even when he cries its not that full out scream that other babies do. I honestly couldn't ask for a happier child. I tell myself that next time will be different... that I know more now then I did before... that every pregnancy and birth is different. But telling myself these things doesn't seem to help alleviate the mental duress that I experience when I think about everything that happened.
I've discovered, that like infertility, this negative birth experience brings about comments that are supposed to help but simply hurt. I get told "but you have a healthy baby, that's what matters!" or "next time you can try for a natural birth again". While these comments are meant to be helpful all they do is make me feel more frustrated and then I begin to question my own feelings. Is it wrong for me to feel angry and upset over how my birth went? Shouldn't I just be happy that I have a healthy child?
Every day my scar gets a little lighter and I know that soon it will fade and become almost invisible but the emotional scars still linger. Sometimes its the scars we can't see that take the longest to heal.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
On The Move
Well, I haven't really wanted to admit it to myself... but Eirik is on the move. He's not crawling in the traditional sense, but he can get himself across the room now quite easily AND can go from sitting to his stomach... which means if I sit him on the floor he can get himself to his stomach and again, across the room! He can however only scoot backwards which means he doesn't eye an up object and go to it... its more of an accidental movement and then "oo, look at that!" It also means I need to seriously babyproof the downstairs of my house! Oh the joys... its on my list of things to do next weekend.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
6 Month Stats!
So we were all wrong! Apparently what they say about breastfed babies slowing down growth around 6 months is true! My little man is actually FINALLY on the charts for his height and weight! I have to admit I was shocked when my husband told me how much the doctors said he weighed and what his length was.
Weight: 19lbs 7oz - 50 - 75%
Length: 27in - 50 - 75%
Yep, that's right. he's still under 20lbs. SHOCKER! But I am happy because it means we can continue to use our cosleeper a little longer! It has a max weight of 23lbs! However he is now trying to crawl out of it... so I think its probably going to be taken down sooner rather then later!
Weight: 19lbs 7oz - 50 - 75%
Length: 27in - 50 - 75%
Yep, that's right. he's still under 20lbs. SHOCKER! But I am happy because it means we can continue to use our cosleeper a little longer! It has a max weight of 23lbs! However he is now trying to crawl out of it... so I think its probably going to be taken down sooner rather then later!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
6 Months!
Today my little man is 6 months old! I thought my pregnancy went by quickly! Here he is giving me the "i'm exhausted, can we go to bed now?" look.
So, what is new in the life of Eirik? He is MAJORLY working on the crawling thing! In the process he is doing baby yoga...
He does that when we place him on his stomach. Also when he sits now he is trying to go forward. He's not quite brave enough to go from sitting to his stomach yet, but he's VERY close to doing it. He does it when he bats a toy too far out of his reach or when one of the cats is JUST out of touching range.
He is very vocal and talkative at the moment! We have tons of dadada, bababa, mamama, and nanana... he has his happy noises and his angry one's. Both are cute and highly amusing... sometimes its hard not to laugh at him when he's frustrated!
We still haven't started solids yet... part of this is because honestly he is quite happy with breastmilk! The other part is because I still don't have a diaper sprayer for my cloth diapers! Breastmilk is water soluble so at the moment when the diaper is dirty I can just toss it right in the wet bag. However once he starts solids its another story! Hopefully solids will start in a week or two. Have no fear, there will be pictures a plenty when that happens!
Bedtime is a bit of a nightmare still but I have finding a correlation between how difficult bedtime is to how much time I spend with him in the evening. On days where I pick him up at my friends and he doesn't get good quality "mommy time" before bed he tends to take longer to put to sleep. We're slowly getting better. He's still not sleeping through the night either... currently thanks to teething we are up about every 3 hours. Needless to say he's been sleeping in bed with us and I am mastering the art of nursing laying down in bed.
I'll leave you with a bath picture. He still loves his baths. We got him a rubber ducky and he has finally mastered grabbing it out of the water and getting it into his mouth! Yummy. ;)
Doctors appointment tomorrow so we get the official weight and length! I'm guessing 23lbs. Anyone else want to take a stab?
So, what is new in the life of Eirik? He is MAJORLY working on the crawling thing! In the process he is doing baby yoga...
He does that when we place him on his stomach. Also when he sits now he is trying to go forward. He's not quite brave enough to go from sitting to his stomach yet, but he's VERY close to doing it. He does it when he bats a toy too far out of his reach or when one of the cats is JUST out of touching range.
He is very vocal and talkative at the moment! We have tons of dadada, bababa, mamama, and nanana... he has his happy noises and his angry one's. Both are cute and highly amusing... sometimes its hard not to laugh at him when he's frustrated!
We still haven't started solids yet... part of this is because honestly he is quite happy with breastmilk! The other part is because I still don't have a diaper sprayer for my cloth diapers! Breastmilk is water soluble so at the moment when the diaper is dirty I can just toss it right in the wet bag. However once he starts solids its another story! Hopefully solids will start in a week or two. Have no fear, there will be pictures a plenty when that happens!
Bedtime is a bit of a nightmare still but I have finding a correlation between how difficult bedtime is to how much time I spend with him in the evening. On days where I pick him up at my friends and he doesn't get good quality "mommy time" before bed he tends to take longer to put to sleep. We're slowly getting better. He's still not sleeping through the night either... currently thanks to teething we are up about every 3 hours. Needless to say he's been sleeping in bed with us and I am mastering the art of nursing laying down in bed.
I'll leave you with a bath picture. He still loves his baths. We got him a rubber ducky and he has finally mastered grabbing it out of the water and getting it into his mouth! Yummy. ;)
Doctors appointment tomorrow so we get the official weight and length! I'm guessing 23lbs. Anyone else want to take a stab?
Monday, September 27, 2010
A Few Of My Favorite Things...
Or Eirik's favorite things I should say! =) These are things that I know he enjoys and when he starts getting fussy I can pull out and typically distract him with... for about 5 minutes.
The Very Hungry Caterpillar - He LOVES this book. I've read him others, but this one always gets a huge grin.
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star - This song always gets smiles. I've sung the ABC's which is the same tune but it doesn't get the same reaction.
The Rocking Penguin - He loves this penguin! Its inflatable and bounces when he hits it... it can easily amuse him for 10 - 15 minutes!
Jumparoo - Still a favorite. He'd stay in there for hours if we'd let him!
The cats - yes, nothing stops fussing and whining like a cat walking by.
RaZ-berry teethers - since he is having major teething pains these things are a lifesaver! This evening he happily gnawed on one for about 5 minutes! Find them here on amazon!
Me gnawing on his feet - He finds this hysterical. I pretend to gnaw on his feet and make loud "arrg" noises.
The outdoors - if all else fails sitting on my front porch always works! So many new sights and smells!
The Very Hungry Caterpillar - He LOVES this book. I've read him others, but this one always gets a huge grin.
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star - This song always gets smiles. I've sung the ABC's which is the same tune but it doesn't get the same reaction.
The Rocking Penguin - He loves this penguin! Its inflatable and bounces when he hits it... it can easily amuse him for 10 - 15 minutes!
Jumparoo - Still a favorite. He'd stay in there for hours if we'd let him!
The cats - yes, nothing stops fussing and whining like a cat walking by.
RaZ-berry teethers - since he is having major teething pains these things are a lifesaver! This evening he happily gnawed on one for about 5 minutes! Find them here on amazon!
Me gnawing on his feet - He finds this hysterical. I pretend to gnaw on his feet and make loud "arrg" noises.
The outdoors - if all else fails sitting on my front porch always works! So many new sights and smells!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
A Gloomy Sunday...
Today is a gloomy overcast day... the kind of day where you want to pull the covers over your head and spend the entire day on the couch watching a movie. At least that's what I would have done before having Eirik! Now however my days are spent laying on the floor watching in amazement as he suddenly discovers how to do something that only days ago he couldn't figure out. In all honesty while I miss the movie watching he is just as amusing.
Last night my husband and I had a date, and while it wasn't the romantic evening I had originally planned it was still thoroughly enjoyable. Originally the plan was to go to PF Changs, however on the way there we passed a 5 guys and my husband suddenly goes "would you mind eating there instead?" Even though it was romantic it was just what the doctor ordered! We got our food and sat outside enjoying the beautiful weather. It was relaxing and low key, which was perfect! Afterward we visited the local Barns and Noble for some coffee and book browsing... something we used to do all the time but haven't done as much recently. It was really a perfect evening! And having never eaten a 5 guys burger before I have to say I was extremely impressed! The burger was delicious... I know where I am going from now on for a burger!
And lastly a picture of my little man. I realized that I probably take WAY to many photographs of him... but he seems to change almost every day! I'm not even going to admit here how many photographs I have saved on my hard drive!
Last night my husband and I had a date, and while it wasn't the romantic evening I had originally planned it was still thoroughly enjoyable. Originally the plan was to go to PF Changs, however on the way there we passed a 5 guys and my husband suddenly goes "would you mind eating there instead?" Even though it was romantic it was just what the doctor ordered! We got our food and sat outside enjoying the beautiful weather. It was relaxing and low key, which was perfect! Afterward we visited the local Barns and Noble for some coffee and book browsing... something we used to do all the time but haven't done as much recently. It was really a perfect evening! And having never eaten a 5 guys burger before I have to say I was extremely impressed! The burger was delicious... I know where I am going from now on for a burger!
And lastly a picture of my little man. I realized that I probably take WAY to many photographs of him... but he seems to change almost every day! I'm not even going to admit here how many photographs I have saved on my hard drive!
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Who Needs Toys??
Eirik is absolutely SMITTEN with the cats now. Yes, he's always been interested in them but now whenever they walk in the room he looks at nothing else and gets a huge smile on his face. Sometimes I feel like if he had no toys and could only play with the cats he'd be a perfectly happy little guy. This afternoon he spent about 15 minutes on his stomach attempting to crawl towards the cat with the biggest grin on his face as he did it. Not even me trying to interact with him can tear his attention from the cats! These cats better be careful once he starts to move!
His cold is FINALLY starting to get better but the teething is just as bad. Some days are worse then others but he is constantly rubbing something against his gums. We got these raspberry teether pacifiers and they are amazing! He'll happily gnaw on one for a good 10 minutes!
Tonight my husband and I are having a date! We haven't been out alone together since our anniversary in June! We were going to go a few weeks ago but then I came down with my killer cold and this is the first weekend since then that nothing has been going on! I'm excited. =)
His cold is FINALLY starting to get better but the teething is just as bad. Some days are worse then others but he is constantly rubbing something against his gums. We got these raspberry teether pacifiers and they are amazing! He'll happily gnaw on one for a good 10 minutes!
Tonight my husband and I are having a date! We haven't been out alone together since our anniversary in June! We were going to go a few weeks ago but then I came down with my killer cold and this is the first weekend since then that nothing has been going on! I'm excited. =)
Friday, September 24, 2010
Update On Operation Loose Babyweight!
I just realized I hadn't updated in a while on how my "operation loose babyweight" was going. I am please to announce that as of this morning i was 173... thats 7lbs BELOW prebaby weight!! Honestly the only thing I can attribute this continuous weight loss to is breastfeeding. I'm not on any sort of strict diet or doing any exercise aside from carrying Eirik around... which considering he's probably a good 22lbs is no small feat! ;) That means another 10lbs and i'll be just about where I want to and almost at my college weight!
Now while the weight loss is going great I REALLY need to exercise and work on toning. Finding time to do so is another story completely. I have a feeling exercise will be on the back burner till next year after I finish my classes. I guess until then my exercise will be carrying Eirik around and probably chasing him around the house once he starts crawling!
Now while the weight loss is going great I REALLY need to exercise and work on toning. Finding time to do so is another story completely. I have a feeling exercise will be on the back burner till next year after I finish my classes. I guess until then my exercise will be carrying Eirik around and probably chasing him around the house once he starts crawling!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Random Thoughts On Motherhood...
Some random thoughts tonight... I'm still not entirely sure what direction this post will take. Eirik is still sick with his cold and I don't have any new cute pictures uploaded yet (note yet!).
Why is it that mothers always seem to judge each other and instead of supporting they seem to want to criticize or point out flaws? I have to admit up until this point I have been very lucky in the fact that I haven't had anyone close to me directly do this... but it always seems like there is this competition between mothers. The whole "oh, you don't do this? You should!" It doesn't matter what the topic is but instead of being supported you are made to feel bad for your choices. I started thinking about this after reading a post on facebook... someone had posted about a hotline you can now call to get information about breastfeeding and medicine. They asked the question "would you trust the information given". I skimmed through the comments and about a dozen people had said "I just refuse to take anything while breastfeeding.". Well, that's fine and dandy for you... but you don't need to say that. You could simply not say anything at all... not all of us feel that way and no one wants to feel guilty for taking something they REALLY needed.
It seems like so many mothers are so blinded by their own views they refuse to see anyone else. The two big hot topics that always seem to set people off are formula over breastfeeding and planned c-sections... you get people started on either of those topics and its disturbing how quickly two people can get nasty and be reduced to name calling. Personally unless you are physically or emotionally abusing your child I have no place to tell you what to do! You are doing what is best for you and your family and your situation... and thats great! But so many people make it their personal mission to almost harass people in to seeing their point of view. I guess maybe I'm weird in the fact I'd rather just agree to disagree and move on.
Maybe this is why I don't have many "mommy" friends. Most of my friends that are close don't have kids or have older kids... I really don't know anyone close by who has a child in the same age range as Eirik. I haven't really had any opportunities to meet people either. When I was home on maternity leave I looked up mom groups in the area and was disappointed to find that they were all for stay at home moms. What about us who have to work? I have no choice. I really feel sometimes like working moms get a bad rep... we're selfish for working still and not wanting to be at home. Well, news flash, some of us are the primary breadwinners! Some of us really do have no choice but to work, especially considering the economy the way it is today. I would love nothing more then to stay home with Eirik but sadly that is not in the cards for me right now. Maybe someday... but not now and not in the near future.
Just to clarify here, none of my blog readers fall into any of these categories... well, unless you're a reader I don't know about or who never comments then I can't say. I just really wish women would support each other more and spend less time being judgmental and negative. There's no reason to debate parenting styles... just like every person is different every parent is different... and every baby is different! I wish sometimes I could yell "Can't we all just get along?!"
Why is it that mothers always seem to judge each other and instead of supporting they seem to want to criticize or point out flaws? I have to admit up until this point I have been very lucky in the fact that I haven't had anyone close to me directly do this... but it always seems like there is this competition between mothers. The whole "oh, you don't do this? You should!" It doesn't matter what the topic is but instead of being supported you are made to feel bad for your choices. I started thinking about this after reading a post on facebook... someone had posted about a hotline you can now call to get information about breastfeeding and medicine. They asked the question "would you trust the information given". I skimmed through the comments and about a dozen people had said "I just refuse to take anything while breastfeeding.". Well, that's fine and dandy for you... but you don't need to say that. You could simply not say anything at all... not all of us feel that way and no one wants to feel guilty for taking something they REALLY needed.
It seems like so many mothers are so blinded by their own views they refuse to see anyone else. The two big hot topics that always seem to set people off are formula over breastfeeding and planned c-sections... you get people started on either of those topics and its disturbing how quickly two people can get nasty and be reduced to name calling. Personally unless you are physically or emotionally abusing your child I have no place to tell you what to do! You are doing what is best for you and your family and your situation... and thats great! But so many people make it their personal mission to almost harass people in to seeing their point of view. I guess maybe I'm weird in the fact I'd rather just agree to disagree and move on.
Maybe this is why I don't have many "mommy" friends. Most of my friends that are close don't have kids or have older kids... I really don't know anyone close by who has a child in the same age range as Eirik. I haven't really had any opportunities to meet people either. When I was home on maternity leave I looked up mom groups in the area and was disappointed to find that they were all for stay at home moms. What about us who have to work? I have no choice. I really feel sometimes like working moms get a bad rep... we're selfish for working still and not wanting to be at home. Well, news flash, some of us are the primary breadwinners! Some of us really do have no choice but to work, especially considering the economy the way it is today. I would love nothing more then to stay home with Eirik but sadly that is not in the cards for me right now. Maybe someday... but not now and not in the near future.
Just to clarify here, none of my blog readers fall into any of these categories... well, unless you're a reader I don't know about or who never comments then I can't say. I just really wish women would support each other more and spend less time being judgmental and negative. There's no reason to debate parenting styles... just like every person is different every parent is different... and every baby is different! I wish sometimes I could yell "Can't we all just get along?!"
Monday, September 20, 2010
Photo Update!
Today is just a photo update as I am very behind on my homework and other household chores. =)
In other news I really need to move... that is on the top of the priority list of "things to accomplish by next summer".
In other news I really need to move... that is on the top of the priority list of "things to accomplish by next summer".
Sunday, September 19, 2010
The Joys Of Pumping In Public...
Yesterday was AWESOME. It was a relaxing fun filled day of lots of great music and conversation! There was a radio station in Maryland called WHFS that played alternative and rock music and every year they would have a HUGE concert called the HFStival. I grew up listening to the station... my parents played it in the car and then as a teenager and adult I listened to it. I never attended an HFStival but every year I wished I could... it seemed like there was always one reason or another I couldn't go. Then one afternoon in 2005 as I was driving home from work my beloved station was playing... spanish music. I thought this was some sort of prank at first but no, my station was gone. They attempted to bring it back on nights and weekends on another station but it never really went anywhere. Now you can apparently listen to it on HD radio... but I don't have that. But, I digress... this year they decided to do another HFStival! It was like reliving the 90s... the lineup was all those alternative rock bands I loved listening to! Fuel, Lit, and Everclear to name a few.... and Billy Idol. Yes folks, I saw Billy Idol in concert last night... and I must say that he looks pretty darn good! In true rock concert fashion I witness people in various stages of drunkenness, the really old guy who looked completely out of it, and a fight. No concert is complete without a fight!
My day itself started early. I went to breakfast with my one friend who was coming to the concert with me and another of our friends. We decided to stuff ourselves silly as concert food is horribly overpriced (a think of fries was 7 dollars and a soda was 4 dollars!). After eating a huge unhealthy breakfast we went to the concert and met up with my friends friend who was coming with us. The concert itself was fairly tame comparted to HFStivals of years past. I actually saw a lot of people with small children which was rather shocking to me. Considering the line up I expected a lot of people between the ages of 15 and 30 but I was very surprised to see quite a few people who were in their 40s and 50s there... as well as people who came with the family! I saw a lot of teenagers with parents! Of course as the day wound down and the level of intoxication increased the families slowly left. The weather was perfect for the event... the three of us found ourselves a little spot in the shade under a tree where we could see one of the large screens and spent most of the day listening to music and talking. My friends friend has a 14 month old so we spent some time talking about kids and how quickly they change. It was nice!
The biggest blah part of my day was pumping. I pumped in the car before entering the concert but I knew I would have to pump at least once at the concert. I had a little manual pump and I decided, after much deliberation and trying to find a quiet spot, to pump in the bathroom. UGH! To say it was disgusting was an understatement. Thankfully the venue had a lot of real bathrooms and honestly I've used bathrooms that were more disgusting... but still it was not pleasant. I pumped just enough to take the pressure off and then the second I got home I pumped again.
While I missed my little man it was good for me to get out for the day and do something for me and have me time. I haven't really done that in a long time. Typically I schedule my girl outings around Eirik's eating and sleeping so I am only gone for 3 - 4 hours. I am however enjoying spending the entire day today with my little man who despite a very clogged up noise is his typical smiling/happy self.
My day itself started early. I went to breakfast with my one friend who was coming to the concert with me and another of our friends. We decided to stuff ourselves silly as concert food is horribly overpriced (a think of fries was 7 dollars and a soda was 4 dollars!). After eating a huge unhealthy breakfast we went to the concert and met up with my friends friend who was coming with us. The concert itself was fairly tame comparted to HFStivals of years past. I actually saw a lot of people with small children which was rather shocking to me. Considering the line up I expected a lot of people between the ages of 15 and 30 but I was very surprised to see quite a few people who were in their 40s and 50s there... as well as people who came with the family! I saw a lot of teenagers with parents! Of course as the day wound down and the level of intoxication increased the families slowly left. The weather was perfect for the event... the three of us found ourselves a little spot in the shade under a tree where we could see one of the large screens and spent most of the day listening to music and talking. My friends friend has a 14 month old so we spent some time talking about kids and how quickly they change. It was nice!
The biggest blah part of my day was pumping. I pumped in the car before entering the concert but I knew I would have to pump at least once at the concert. I had a little manual pump and I decided, after much deliberation and trying to find a quiet spot, to pump in the bathroom. UGH! To say it was disgusting was an understatement. Thankfully the venue had a lot of real bathrooms and honestly I've used bathrooms that were more disgusting... but still it was not pleasant. I pumped just enough to take the pressure off and then the second I got home I pumped again.
While I missed my little man it was good for me to get out for the day and do something for me and have me time. I haven't really done that in a long time. Typically I schedule my girl outings around Eirik's eating and sleeping so I am only gone for 3 - 4 hours. I am however enjoying spending the entire day today with my little man who despite a very clogged up noise is his typical smiling/happy self.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
More Sickness....
But this time its Eirik! =( Poor baby... I wondered why he was up so often last night and this morning it was obvious he has a cold. Hes congested and sneezing... but still a happy little man! I on the other hand am exhausted... he was up about every 1 1/2 - 2 hours and even when he did sleep it wasn't very well... so needless to say I didn't sleep well either. To make things even more interesting I am having my first official girl day without Eirik! I am going to an all day festival rock concert... i'm going to be going from about 9am till 11pm! Not only will I be exhausted by the time I get home I'm now going to be worried about him. =( I'm really hoping he didn't get the killer cold I had!
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